provision

this whole substitute teaching thing is going a lot slower than i anticipated. and i mean a LOT slower. this friday will be my fourth job in four weeks. besides subbing with the public schools, i have been subbing at the children's center through the university.  how am i holding up? some day are better than others. but through this i am finally starting to see a glimpse of what the Lord is trying to teach me.

for the past month i have been reading Luke. four days ago i stumbled across Luke 12: 1-34  - and have been camped out ever since.

anxiety...a sin that hits close to home. for me, it usually sounds like: shouldn't i have a full-time job now that i'm done with college? will i get a sub job this week? whats my purpose this semester? what are we going to do after this semester? will we make enough money? am i respecting my husband enough? blah blah blah...

but then, Jesus said:

wow, there is a lot in these 3 verses. but ultimately, seek his kingdom and you will receive what you need. it's that easy? 

i am starting to see this is going to be a process for my heart. a process that probably won't happen over night. God has already shown me that when i seek his kingdom, he will provide jobs. and when jobs are canceled, he wants me to seek his kingdom that much more and trust in his provision. 

what does the next 3 months, year, 5 years look like for us? i don't have the slightest clue. [seriously] what i do know is that i am starting a journey of learning how to seek His kingdom and in return we will be given exactly what we need.